Smartphones exist so that people can feel something.

Our inner lives, after all, are so numbing that we are forced to rely on our outer vestments to speak to us and to others.

While our stripes--single slim, red Prada, or three jagged Adidas, depending on your bent--can be shown by our clothes, it's our smartphones that speak by their very public presence at all times of day and night.

Please, then, peruse this artistic depiction of the image parameters of smartphone users and wonder whether you see yourself and your own feelings. This creation is the work of C-Section Comics, and it offers a giddily sobering view of the emotional schizophrenia surrounding each phone.

Some will, no doubt, make appointments with their intimate surgeons on learning that, of the three main smartphone types, only the typical iPhone user is, well, feminine. Typical iPhone users apparently not only see themselves as girls, but are seen by those beholden to other smartphones as girls too.

Apparently, BlackBerry users imagine iPhone users to be very small girls indeed. On the other hand, iPhone users see BlackBerry users as an aging entity not entirely dissimilar to a cross between Cary Grant and John McCain.

The typical Android user apparently thinks he's Einstein. (No girl would EVER think she was Einstein.) However, while an iPhone user considers an Android user to be a mere goofy little nerd with all the muscles of mussels, the BlackBerry user isn't quite so complimentary. BlackBerry users think of Android users as pizza delivery boys.

I know you will already have your own feelings, your own images in your head. So please enjoy and express yourselves. Oh, and try ordering a pizza and see who comes to the door.