So you remember how Apple used to laugh at Microsoft for years and years

You know, there was that portly chap in the glasses who couldn't quite get anything right and secretly marveled at Apple's ability to both be very clever and, well, attract a very high class of sleeping partner

Well, Microsoft has decided to try its hand at handing it to Apple.

For look what has appeared on the Windows YouTube site. Yes, it's a Windows 7 "I'm a PC" ad. (Oh, you might call it a video. But to me, everything is an ad, regardless of where it happens to appear.)

Here we have Mac and PC flying on a rocket-plane made out of Andy Warhol's castoff props. Scarcely has the rocket-plane reached its cruising altitude before the Windows 7 PC shows off its buff new exterior. And, indeed, interior.

For it has something that Mac does not. No, not the adulation of Megan Fox, but the next best thing. Yes, built-in Blu-Ray.

Perhaps you are as completely mesmerized by this information as is the rather worn-out Mac in this ad.

Perhaps the presence of built-in Blu-Ray will tip the balance for you, so that your enjoyment of "Avatar" will feel four-dimensional the next time you go on a rocket-plane to visit your relatives.

For myself, I am reminded of reality shows. They are always better when there is a certain amount of conflict. One loud woman decides to tug at another loud woman's hair extensions on "The Bachelor." One large man steals another large man's pea puree on "Top Chef."

These are the things that keep us excited, begging for more.

So it is quite delightful that Microsoft's former chubby, downtrodden self is standing up to the handsome, eligible Mac that began to show a little smugness beneath its dazzling beauty. (Oh, even George Clooney succumbs just once in awhile.)

Welcome, then, to the "I'm a PC and you're an Annoyingly Popular Former High School Quarterback and Rhodes Scholar with Bulges in All the Right Places and a House on Lake Como" campaign.

May the fight be unfair, amusing, and draw just a little blood.